Attention: A Fiber-riffic Parcel Awaits You at the Front Desk

Scene: A somewhat frazzled girl walks towards her apartment. She had just got off the train (to Jackson and back, during rush hour, no less) and was anxious for the comforts of home. As she approaches her apartment door -She notices a bright pink slip of paper.

"Attention! The Front Desk attendant is holding a parcel for you!"



The girl spins around and heads back to the elevator -Her mind full of wonder. "A package? For me? From who? Hmm? I'm not expecting anything. Who sent me a package? Rawr!"

Frazzled Girl: "Hey Meredith ...I have a package?"
Meredith (trusty front desk woman extroidinare ...if not a tad bit too Pentecostal): "Umm hmm ...And girl, you're not gonna be all that happy about it ...wait til you see this thing"
Frazzled Girl: (confusion -crinkled brow)



Frazzled Girl: "Metamucil! Hooray!"
Meredith: (laughter)

Girl walks back to elevator, back to her apartment -Tired from her trek downtown, the girl enjoys two small/crushed Metamucil Fiber Wafers "in Cinnamon Flavor". She then grabs her camera and opts to "blog" about her crappy (no pun-intended) package.

End (rather elongated) scene.

In 800-number Intervals: My Scanner, My Friend

I've been going through my storage closet, as of late and came across these photos -Taken over a year ago. My scanner and I are still on shaky terms, hence the "lovely" scans.






Note: Foot in motion (above) -Unfortunately, I don't really have a gargoyle foot.

Robots, Ponies & Ghetto Beats

Excerpts from my day off:

Me: "There's sunshine in my cereal!"

Me: "I think the silence will take some getting used to, @ first ...I'll be listening to a lot of Eugene Mirman's comedy album ...It'll be like having a very funny one-sided conversation about robots and ponies."
Michael: "Exactly like me! What if I were a robot or a pony?"
Me: "Well then I'd beat you with a chair and make a fine fine purse."

Me: "OK, Traffic boy!"
Nick: "Traffic recorded those songs in a more innocent time! Honest!"

Me: "My very first boyfriend @ age 15 broke up with me because I refused to play a game of euchre ...What gives?"
Nick: "Is it because you thought he meant Bob Uecker from Mr. Belvedere, and the thought of playing him scared you half to death?"

Around 4PM, I went to pick up my paycheck ...Opted to stop by Metropolis on my way back and pick up a cup of coffee ...Ran into none-other than Teevo and Chris Finger.

Teevo: "I've been working all day on music ...It's really coming together."
Me: "Metropolis is like your office"
Teevo: "Yeah, whenever people contact me to work on the album, I just have them meet up with me here."
Me: "That's a smart idea -That way you can scope them out first and make sure they're not some 60+ John Wayne Gacy lookin' fella"
Teevo: "Well, I guess you could lay down your ghetto beats, sir"

Teevo: "The Subway up the street isn't half bad -Have you had their fruit punch!? Oo my, you push the fruit punch button and it's really ORANGE POP ...I LOVE that stuff!"
Me: "It's as though the machine knew what you really wanted!"

Jason: "I think I just made my decision, eff work."

Also, Peter Boyle died today ...Breaks my heart, he was always on my list of "People Who I Wish Were My Real Grandfather" (Second only to Dean Martin ...And yes, I have such lists).

Twinkle Lights, Tomato Soup & A Round Of Applause ...I'm Throwing My Hat Up Over My Head

Lately, I've been reminded of one of my all-time favorite "That Girl" scenes when Marlo Thomas' character Ann Marie ...w/ diehard aspirations of making it as an actress in the big city of hussle and bussle, NYC ...Finds herself @ an automat ...Hungry and short of change, she orders a bowl of hot water and adds (complimentary) ketchup, w/ a smile on her face ...Woo-la tomato soup. Like Mary Tyler Moore, years later, Marlo Thomas was "going to make it afterall."

Last Friday, I opted to take a trip downtown to walk anonymously alongside cheery Christmas shoppers ...Twinkle lights all a glow ...It's so easy to be pessimistic about such a scene. Commercialism at it's finest ...blah blah blah. I'm a sucker for all of that tinsel, though ...And wouldn't you know, everyone I passed had a smile on their face and as I walked under the canopy of twinkle lights (No, literally, it was a canopy) I gave into the cheesiness and joined the handful of children, staring up in awe.

I'm taking that hot water and ketchup and I'm making tomato soup (figuratively) ...And hey, I'll take some lemons while I'm at it ...Hmm, that is after I tend to the gapping hole in my thumb ...Thanks Primo.

...Are you gagging?

That is too good, that is too good

I went to my neighborhood CVS, this evening and had the pleasure of running into one of my favorite, longtime CVS employees, Regina:

Regina: You still hittin' them beans, girl?
Me: Nope! I'm almost 2 and a half years clean of any jellybeans ..Around Halloween, I started candy corn but I quit within a week.
Regina: (leaning over, laughing) Girl, that is too good, that is too good ..You clean, woohoohaha.

And then she gave me the wrong change.

Heheh, Awww, Totally, Touche & Something Beautiful

Ever now and again ..and again, I like to take a moment and reflect on the good. My Mother is both an optimist and a former majorette so it could be said she passed the baton onto me (Whoa-ho, look @ the humor on her!)

Things that have made me laugh, smile, giggle, smirk and/or pat myself on the back, as of late:

-Salsa hat!
-A grocery shopping social
-The odd number of strangers who have waved @ me lately
-"Refrigerated"
-Winter (Yep, I'm one of THOSE people)
-Twinkle lights. Twinkle lights. Twinkle lights.
-Peek-a-boo w/ Princess Milo
-Coffee, just black ..Especially when it spills on my coat and then freezes upon contact so I can just flick it off ..Amazing!
-The nice man who helped lift my wheelie cart from the ice, in the middle of the street (And who was yelling "Can I help you!?" multiple times before I even noticed ..Damn you, headphones)
-Danger Mike, all of his Bears' glory and when he said "This is a shelter for a lot of us"
-"Heheh," "Awww" and "Totally" ..."Touche"
-Tiny Tim and his calzone feet
-Weighing Marshall's CDs
-Jason and the magical J-Light ..And the "beard of my dreams"
-Dr. Pepper flavored chapstick (Ooo and handsome kitty Dr. Pepper)
-"You're Glenn Campbell ignorant"
-The fact that the S copyright belongs to both Starburst and Skittles
-Microwaving glue sticks
-"God asked Noah if he wanted to die/He said no sir, no sir/God said here's your future ..It's going to rain" (from The Thermal's "Here's Your Future")
-Super tan people in the middle of December
-A mix every other day club
-Marshall's impersonation of the IDEXX "boys in the lab" and how they oddly sound a lot like the staff @ Chinalite
-Sharon and her boyfriend's sister
-Clean Michael Jordan Day
-Three cheers for Unsolved Mysteries!
-And and and
-Sweepstake prizes
-Tasty starlight mints
-The charity with the most unfortunate name: Santa for the Very Poor (SVP)
-Jennifer Aniston PSAs "But it wasn't the trampoline, was it? (camera one) ..IT WAS A BRAIN TUMOR"
-"three of my co-workers look like the three main guys from 'Barney Miller'." (Thank you Nick)
-Clem Snide Sundays (And how their live cover of "Albuquerque" sounds like "hhhhhhave a cooooooookie")
-If the soap dispenser makes bubbles that means it's going to rain cookies!
-Frozen cereal ..A cereal-pop
-Pajama pant desktops
-The first 30 seconds of Wilco's "Jesus, Etc."
-The word "fungus-y"