Ok G5 Computer, One Way Conversation w/ Bill Clinton, Simon Says Walgreen’s & Voting

Tuesday, Nov. 7th @ 1130AM

I've often said that I'm glad my cats can't talk ..I'm not sure if I want to know what they'd have to say. I can now say the same goes for my computer ..It's talking ..and it appears to have a speech impediment to boot ..And I really don't care what it has to say.

My cats have the run of the roost ..Sofa, chairs, beds, a cat tree, tables ..Milo turns his bologna colored nose to it all ..He prefers bookshelves and my keyboard. At first I laughed it off ..I found his love for computers and art amusing. ("No Milo, let's keep that painting on the wall" "Milo, quit renaming my desktop folders 777777777------------999999990000000999999999999dghhhhhhhh") I have no clue what he's done now and I think a call to Apple Tech support will be comin' down the pike. Every page I open, every file, every time a message is received, every time my screensaver comes on ..My computer tells me. Every letter typed, my computer lets me know ..And I have no idea how to shut it off. Ooo and the stuttering! "Safari ..Open ..Safari ..Safari ..Safari ..Safari ..Open ..Open" ..Forget listening to my iTunes, everything sounds like "Fitter, happier" .... Who knew Lucero did a split with Radiohead.

A very robotic Bill Clinton called me yesterday "Hi this is Bill Clinton ..Rod Blagojevich has done some amazing things for the state of Illinois" ...blah blah blah ..I couldn't get a word in edge wise. Clinton just kept going on and on about Rod Blagojevich ..Rod this, Rod that and why I should vote for Rod come Nov. 7th. Bill Clinton then wished me "a nice day" and a 'better tomorrow for Illinois" and before I could say "Thanks for calling, Bill," he hung up.

Something I wish I could have done, while calling in Primo's syringes, yesterday. This happens every time I have to renew his prescription. I call bright and early, a few days before he'll be out and without fail the vet takes his sweet time faxing back the approval form. Primo has enough to get through his two shots today ..I need to call the vet before I head off to work.

"Thank you for calling Walgreen's, for the pharmacy press 1

Thank you for calling the Walgreens.. Pharmacy, for pharmacy hours press 1, to refill a prescription press 2

Please enter your prescription number, including the last 5 digits

If this number is correct, please press 1

Please wait while we process your prescription. This prescription will need your doctor..s approval. To continue with your prescription order please press 1

To pick up tomorrow please press 1, to pick up today, please press 2

Please enter the time you would like to pick up your prescription. Hours are indicated by the first number and minutes the last two numbers. Then press ...

This number is incorrect, hours are indicated by the first number and the minutes the last two numbers. Then press pound.

For AM press 1, for PM press 2

Thank you, doctor pending, your prescription will be ready by 7-0-0-P-M

Our records indicate that we can reach you @ 555-555-5555

If this is correct press 1, to change contact number press 2

If you have completed your prescription, press 1. If you would like to start over, press 2.

For comments, press 1, for customer assistance press 2

Please rate this call. 1 being poor and 9 for excellent.

To order another prescription, please press 1.

You have earned x80,000 life points and 8000 gold coins. To proceed to level 8, press 1. To save Princess Toadstool, press 2. To slay the Double Dragon, press 3. To start over press 4.

Thank you for choosing Walgreen's and have a nice day. Please press .. to end this call."

There's been an extreme makeover @ my local Dominick's grocery store ..Aside from blindingly shiny fruit stacked in a manner that would rival the Egyptians -They've added aisles, an expanded (allergy inducing) floral department and overall more variety ..Plus, the parking lot looks like a used car dealership w/ streamers and balloons. Most notably, Dominick's now has sample stations ..Yesterday, an overly enthusiastic Dominick's employee tried to con me into a chunk of pineapple ..on a toothpick. Mmm, Safeway pineapple ..How exotic. I guess a toothpick adds that extra touch of class ..This Dominick pineapple peddler treated me as though this was the 1950s and pineapple only came in canned rings. "But it's FREE! It's PINEAPPLE!"

Well, it's time to wait in the voting bread line.

Update: I voted.

Marshall might find this amusing:

Me: Hi, I'd just like a medium black coffee.
Barista: Medium black?
Me: Yep, medium black.
Barista: Ok [I pay and she pours the coffee ..Hands it to me]
Me: Thanks, have a nice day.
Barista: I didn't know how much cream you wanted but there's cream over there [points].