Do you remember ABC's TGIF programming in the late 80s/early 90s? Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr. Belvedere, Just The Ten Of Us, Family Ties, Step By Step, Boy Meets World
..Well, all of those shows can now be found on Nick @ Night ..Along with Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, which was my Monday night staple. (Until Calrton went alpha-male and started carrying a gun for self defense after Will was shot during an ATM robbery and near the end of the show..s run Phil and Vivian contemplated divorce ..Or whenever any show brings baby into the mix for a ratings boost)
..Nowadays, such blocks of quality television come Friday night are a thing of the past.
This past Friday, my first Friday off under my new work schedule, I found myself sitting on the sofa, channel surfing ..reminiscing of the TGIF of yester-year.
Ch. 5 NBC: You can only watch NBC Dateline's hot new game show "To Catch A Predator" so many times ..Though, this past Friday's installment featured an active duty army soldier who showed up under the impression he was there to meet a 13 yr. old girl ..Later on, during his police interview he explained "If only I had used my sixth sense that kept me alive in Iraq" ..Sixth sense, indeed.
Ch. 64 A&E: I was hoping for a true-life murder mystery episode from such A&E greats City Confidential, Cold Case Files or The First 48 ..But no, instead, A&E was featuring an in-depth report on psychic children. The greatest thing about this 2 hr. special was that there wasn't even a hint of opposition ..The argument on whether or not psychic children exist or not wasn't up for debate ..In order to watch this program you must concede that psychic children are real and who on Earth would think anything else!? One part that caught my attention was the description of "crystal (psychic) children" who are a step below "Indigo children" ...One of the doctors interviewed explained "Crystal children normally do not develop speech @ a normal age and can remain silent during the early stages of growth" ..Which leads me to believe that all "crystal children" are really just a form of aura-seeing autistics.
Ch. 70 Food Network: "Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade" host Sandra Lee is like a southern tongued Martha Stewart meets Stepford Wife meets your local grocer's canned goods section. The premise of Sandra Lee's 30-minute show is that you can cook a gourmet quality meal with the use of prepackaged food fare. This past Friday was Sandra Lee's annual semi-homemade Thanksgiving ..She was preparing a frozen turkey w/ "herbed" butter (dried herbs mashed w/ two stick of land-O-Lakes butter) when she peered out of her set's REAL window (Ooo) to her make believe backyard ..Real turkeys were walking around and as she walked to her fake sink and looked out about her sod-laden/falsely lit/wild turkey grazing yard she remarked with a fevered glee "Aren't they just so cute!? They're so gorgeous ..I almost feel guilty ..But they're so delicious!" Later on, as she pulled her bird from the oven and started draining the pan drippings she remarked "Whaddya think? Pretty good for a girl, huh?" ...Sandra Lee, I don't think anyone is questioning your femininity ..Especially with your elaborate "table-scapes." Her Italian friend (his name escapes me but I'll over generalize and call him Mario) then came out to share a quick Thanksgiving cocktail recipe ..He's from IT-A-LY.. and like a true UN Ambassador she (slowly) told her IT-AL-IAN friend "WE welcome YOU to OUR country and it's a J-OY to have YOU here"
Ch. 71 E!: According to E! True Hollywood Story, south-side Chicago's very own Jenny McCarthy suffered from bed wetting throughout her youth ..THS then went on for about 10 minutes about the pain of bed-wetting and how Jenny persevered.
After watching the TV Guide channel's listings roll by countless times ..I retired my remote and opted to call my Mom.
Mom: "So what happened with the elections?'
Me: "The Democrats have taken over the Senate and the House"
Mom: "Ooo speaking of voting did you see that Joey Lawrence was voted off Dancing With the Stars? I really thought he had a chance! I think that gay Mario Lopez is going to win"
Me: "So then ..."
Mom; "Ooo, I'm sorry to interrupt Mandy but ..what do you think really happened to Anna Nicole's son?"
My Mom told me about a blind date she went on, this past week, with a man who travels the world game hunting. I guess mid-way through dinner he reached in his coat pocket and took out photos of all of his kills. Who carries such photos? (I'll answer my own question and say those who travel the world killing animals, mounting their heads and will never get a second date with my Mom). My Mom will forever mourn the fact that Tom Selleck is happily married. As Carrie Fischer's character in When Harry Met Sally said "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again"
I'll wrap this up with a couple of updates:
-My computer no longer talks ..Open Apple F5 ..Ah, sweet silence!
-Primo started PZI insulin, yesterday and has been vomiting all over the apartment .. Reason ..635, Why I Hate Carpet: Cat Vomit.
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