Me: "Hello?"
Cop Neighbor (from down the hall w/ female companion in tow): "Hi!"
[Primo runs into hallway -Neighbor's female companion jumps back]
Cop Neighbor: [laugh] "Cute cat!"
Me: [struggling w/ Primo] "Thanks."
Cop Neighbor: "I live down the hall ..." [points] " ... And I've applied for a job within the Federal Bureau" [pause]
Me: "Congrats?"
Cop Neighbor: "Thank you! Anyway, part of my application includes a background check and a brief interview w/ two of my neighbors"
Me: "Oo? ..."
Cop Neighbor: "I explained to them that I don't really know any of my neighbors but they said that didn't matter ...So, I'm going door to door, asking my neighbors -like YOU- if they would be interested in helping me out"
Me: "Ah yes ...Would you like me to relate childhood stories?"
[laughter]
Cop Neighbor: "You would only have to say that you've seen me around and that I'm pretty low-key, quiet, etc."
Me: "Not 'Yeah, I see him passed out in the hallway often'?"
[forced laughter]
Cop Neighbor: "Oo no, no. You can say I watch your cat. Ha ...ha"
[awkward ...Mental note: What?]
Me: "Not 'Oo yeah, THAT guy, I usually have to step over him to get to the elevator'?"
[more forced laughter]
Cop Neighbor: "I hate to bother you"
Me: "No bother ...I'll help" [Mental note: What?]
Cop Neighbor: "Great! When would be a good time for them to contact you?"
Me: "Usually in the AM -And if you want the job, preferably after my first cup of coffee"
[forced laughter ...The schmoozy/car salesman kind]
Cop Neighbor: "Thanks a lot!"
Damn, it wasn't Amway.
So I have a call from the FBI comin' down the pike. Wonderful. I'm debating whether or not to tell them how this "cop neighbor" never holds the elevator for me and that the times I do catch the elevator he always walks off first, even when I'm closer to the doors -Surely, that's against FBI code -I'm a lady!
On a random note: I'm a French Humacorn!
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