To Catch A Predator: As Seen On TV

Ooo, look the Pasta Express: "Cooks up to 1 lb. of pasta! Also great for shrimp, ravioli, hot dogs, carrots, peas, and much more!"

And Ooo, not to be out done, the Vidalia Chop Wizard: "Chops and dices in one swift motion! Never needs sharpening! Chop your kitchen prep time in half, giving you more time to enjoy your delicious dishes!"

But why do you care?

Well, you shouldn't ...Though, lessening the time spent on such long + tedious chores such as boiling (things) and chopping (things) is cutting edge and deserves your attention ...You shouldn't care, neither did I, as I spent 10 minutes hiding in the "As Seen On TV" aisle @ my local CVS Pharmacy, earlier this evening.

I braved the -3 temps with one goal, in mind: cinnamon heart candies ...As I browsed the leftover assortment of pink + red holiday treats ("They can't be out of cinnamon hearts!") ...A guy walked by, stopped and turned around:

Guy: "Damn, you're real cute"
Me: [headphones on -pressed smile -eyes darting back to my quest for cinnamon confections]
Guy: "Hey, what's your name?"
Me: "Sorry"
Guy: "Aww, I just wanna know your name ...Cute girl like you in the candy aisle, you lookin' for candy?"
Me: [side-stepping away ...away!]
Guy: "You know, I bet you sweet ...like candy, bein' in the candy aisle -You sweet like this aisle!"
Me: [cue the crickets ...A-ha! Cinnamon hearts there you are!]
Guy: "You know, that's what they call an euphemism, you know that? Sweet ...candy ...You in this aisle"
Me: "Yes ...Thanks ...Have a good night"
Guy: "Aww you too sweet cutie!"

And then like a hawk, circling it's prey -This guy opted to linger ...And just as the check-out line was within my sight -Who had beaten me there!? In a mad-dash/lightbulb moment, I ducked down the "As Seen On TV" aisle, until the shark had left the waters ...That's an euphemism ...you know?