White Skirts + Dwarf TKO

First things first, a twist ...A book review, if you will.

Yesterday, on the train en route to work:

[Two girls, sitting behind me]

Girl #1: "Yeah so I read the 'Zodiac' and that book messed with my mind!"
Girl #2: "For real?"
[Inaudible banter. Something about "questioning being," not sure]
Girl #1: "That book made me feel like I was on my fuckin' rag, wearing a white skirt."

[I can only assume that she's talking about "Zodiac," by Robert Graysmith, which I read years ago ...I don't really remember the rag/white skirt feeling but then again, everyone's a critic].
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Reason No. 628 why I will always adore Lexi:

Lexi: "I keep missing you!"
Me: "I keep missing you!"
Lexi: "I was this close to selling fruit at intersections!"
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And now, a special report:

I'm a big fan of the taskbar/dock. While coasting along the internet super highway (Remember that term?), I'll come across newsy tidbits (articles, editorials, to-dos/how-tos, recipes) which I'll want to read but for some reason or another I opt to save for a later date. Bookmark? Psh! I just store it on my taskbar/dock and hope that my Safari doesn't close (Or most recently, Princess Milo doesn't tinker around online, looking for Liberace photos).

This morning, coffee in hand, NPR playing in the kitchen, I sat at my desk, flicked on my computer screen and noticed a handful of documents/pages awaiting me.

This American Life's homepage, a soup recipe I've been meaning to jot down (fire roasted corn -could be tasty + help me overcome my fear of corn), the latest editorial on Gaper's Block, Myspace (fancy that), a human height chapter on Wikipedia, Little People of America's homepage, an IMDb bio on John Oates and another Wikipedia chapter on "midgets".

First, the argument: John Oates, of Hall & Oates fame, while short in stature, is not legally a "midget" and/or [the more PC] "little person".

Sure the hints/clues are there, he supposedly (allegedly) needed the help of his own mini-stage during the Hall & Oates Live Aid '85 performance (I have yet to find this footage). And yes, on most if not all Hall & Oates' album covers Daryl Hall can be seen leaning into his shorter counterpart. It should be noted that Hall (please excuse the rhyme) is well rather, somewhat freakishly (But not in the Joey Ramone sort of way) tall, coming in at 6'1" (his feathered coif, popular throughout the 80s, coming in at at least 3 or 4" -At least!). Plus, there's the questionable track off of Hall & Oates' 1984 release "Big Bam Boom," entitled "Dance On Your Knees".

According to the Little People of America's (LPA) website, the term "midget," while in some circles refers to a "proportionate dwarf," is often frowned upon and in turn "dwarf" and "little person" are safer alternatives.

The average height of a dwarf and/or LP is 4' but can range between 2'8"-4'8". Dwarfism, is deemed both a medical and genetic condition (the term also includes plants and animals). The overall "legal" height for a dwarf cuts off at 4'10".

With that knowledge at hand, according to IMDb's bio on John Oates, Oates stands at a height of 5'5", well-above dwarf status though short (considering the average male height of 5'10"). That alone disputes any "That Oates from Hall & Oates is a mustachioed midget with a mullet of pubes" argument (Though the jury is still out on the "mustachioed/mullet of pubes" bit ...I'm just writing on height, today, sorry).

There's much debate on whether or not dwarfism could be considered a disability. The LPA site responds to such a debate, "Certainly many short-statured people could be considered disabled as a result of conditions, mainly orthopedic, related to their type of dwarfism. In addition, access issues and problems exist even for healthy LPs. Consider, for example, the simple fact that most achondroplastic adults cannot reach an automated teller machine. "

Wikipedia's section on dwarfism also touches on the possible problems and/or disabilities associated with dwarfism, listing "social prejudice," "reduced social, employment and marital opportunities," and overall self-esteem issues.

Through all of my LP reading, I have yet to come across anything that states any reduction on rocking hard and/or making Sara smile. Which means that while Oates may legally be a dwarf, while sitting, that by no means has any effect on the man's craft.

In conclusion, mustachioed? A mullet of pubes? A victim of a taller bandmate? Possibly. John Oates, a "midget," dwarf and/or LP? I can't go for that, no can do and neither should you.