Elevators Never Go Fast Enough, Even For Angels

Welcome! Our special tonight is a hearty dose of creepiness served awkwardly fresh and w/ a sprig of mint.

I returned to my building, after a brief errand, this evening to a post-it note on the front lobby's door: "Went to use the restroom, be back in 5 mins." -I no sooner read "mins" (Afterall, abbreviations are quick) when Xavier (newbie-front desk guy) came running to the front door, from a back office.

Xavier: [opens door] "I was watching you on the camera, crossing the street!"
Me: "Oh ...well, thanks for getting the door"
Xavier: "No problem ...I like watching you. I'd like to watch you sleep"
Me: [hits the elevator "up" button so hard that if I had long fingernails, I'm sure they would have chipped] "Ah ...ok ...Have a goodnight!"
Xavier: "Oo, you too, you too!"

Mental thought: "Deadbolt, deadbolt, deadbolt"

So this is my appeal to Xavier: Please, please keep falling asleep behind the front desk ...Please, please keep leaving post-it notes and neglecting your work duties. Keep it up ...Please?

Last Weds., my day off, I had a to-do list of sundry -Including a pit-stop @ work. I step off of the Argyle stop and as I walk out of the station doors, I naturally hold the door open for the fella behind me (Fellas, elderly Asian women, chatty cellphone fashionistas -My door-opening moral-compass shows no discretion!). I should note that this fella strongly resembled my Billy Preston lookalike exterminator, if he had a son.

Billy Preston Jr.: "Thank you miss! Not many people do that nowadays!"
Me: 'Why do you think I do it?"
Billy Preston Jr.: [beats chest Kong-style] YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME! YOU HAVE REJUVENATED ME! YOU ARE ...AN ANGEL!
Me: "Have a good day, sir!"
Billy Preston Jr.: "YOU TOO! YOU TOO!"

I no sooner take a half step, from my run-in w/ Billy Preston, Jr.-KONG STYLE, when I'm met w/ another man, who stood as though he was fighting gravity.

Anti-Gravity Man: "Hey maammaaa, you got 50 cents? I gotta get on the train."
Me: "No, sorry"

[10 minutes later, on my way back to the train, I pass the same man]

Anti-Gravity Man: "Hey maammaaa, you got 75 cents? I gotta get on the train."
Me: "Rates going up that quickly, hmm?"
Anti-Gravity Man: "Damn CTA!"

Oo Chicago, Oo my neighborhood.

In other news: Walgreen's was kind enough to send me an email of their latest flyer. Quaker Oatmeal $1.99 w/ coupon -I'm there!